The (my) silence that what not meant to be

Posted by in Self-Care

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Almost day to day five months ago I sent you my last email. I did not plan on stopping writing you; it just happened. I was the first surprised as I was so happy to have found a weekly rhythm. I don’t really know how many of you really read my blog but writing has been a good exercise (and therapy!) and oftentimes, my way of digging deeper into the things I had to deal with anyway. To teach it you first need to learn it.

I hope you still gained from it. What is the point of sharing my journey if nobody can avoid some of the mistakes I made? So, for once in my life I did not feel like keeping the promise I committed to. I had not one ounce of regret. Really surprising of me. I tend to think I never do enough. I still think about you all a lot and wanted to keep you in the loop.

As some of you know I had it rough in 2015: a concussion and a breast scare were amongst the events that took over a big part of my life, and to this day, I am still dealing with both issues at different levels. I realized only this past February how much this concussion impacted me. I thought I was just going through something similar to a burnout, exhausted from the lifestyle I imposed on myself to make a sustainable income working my doTERRA business and attempting to build part of the Canadian market. It was a total flop and drained a lot of our household income and my energy level. This blow in the head was the wake up call needed to make me stop and listen carefully to the truth I knew but would care for… well you know, later.

I learned this past winter that people can have aftermath effect after a head injury. I experienced spatial visual issues when parking and missing out on letter and syllables when typing right after. I still mix up a few words here and there when tired, knowing what I want to write in my head but ending up typing an homophone. Confusion, memory loss, bouts of anger, deep sadness, anxiety were also present a lot in the first 12-18 months after my incident. I looked at every aspect of my life and wanted to change everything. I wanted to quit on so many things.

The breast scare reminded me that there is more than to give in life. One needs to be wanting and demanding the receiving part too. So I stopped, observed and created a lot of new boundaries for myself and my family. I removed the hecticness and replaced it with grounding, time off, space in between chaos. I learned that saying no to others was alright because it meant saying yes to me.

Recently, the heat pattern in my breast noticed on both thermograms revealed itself differently when I had my first sonogram. As of July I know I have a 7mm lesion on my left breast. It is not necessarily cancer (risk are 1 out of 10) but it was hard to see exactly what it was so there is a big question mark on that tiny spot. At first, I was not too worried but determined to find more clarity. Then after some research I find it even harder to choose the route to take as not a lot of methods are totally accurate nor safe. The one that western medicine is trying to impose so quickly on me seemed invasive and maybe not even necessary.

Moreover, the person I met at the consultation appointment was more there to refute my beliefs and values and convincing me that a mammogram was the way to go. It would be so stupid and wrong to refuse this. We need to remember here that we are talking about early detection but this is not prevention. Of course this person sees no correlation with stress, lifestyle, nor emotions- she was as cold as ice; she is breast cancer survivor herself, believing only in the evidence based scientific studies; the one probably paid by big pharma companies.

Believe me, I have nothing negative to say about those who choose to use western medicine and I am not sure what I would do myself if there was a cancer diagnosis. BUT I strongly believe in live and let live. Whatever you do against your free will can harm you more than you can imagine because you are misaligned with your truth and thus vibrate so much lower than when you are in sync.

So since all this happened, I am not making a lot of promises anymore as I let my feelings guiding me more than my head now. I took no medication so far, dealt only with those affections using lifestyle changes, essentials oils, tons of self-care and a lot of emotional and spiritual work.

I will gladly share with you this journey so as to help you or someone you know dealing with something similar and wanting to learn more about other approaches or view. There are ways to go through difficult moments, naturally, without medication-and read me well, I am not suggesting here that everyone stop their prescription or refuse them. However, understanding how much your lifestyle can be part of the solution is an understatement. From brain health to breast cancer prevention, I have learned that there is a lot that can be done about lifestyle and mindset. It is at the same time simple but not always easy but changing habits is feasible, desirable and so worth it in the long run!

Welcome back to my blog! I want to hear about you and what you would like to hear so I know what I have to offer is of value. Please comment below or write me an email at mj@vidyessence.com and together let’s start our own personal revolution!